Friday, August 9, 2013

Flash Fiction Friday

Pick Up On Aisle One
by Donna L Martin

Hallie tossed her purse into the shopping cart and quickly pushed it toward the produce aisle.  It had been a long day, full of irritations stacking one on top of another until she felt like screaming.  Five o'clock finally arrived and all Hallie wanted to do was grab a salad before heading home.  Barely paying attention as she tossed things into her cart, Hallie rounded the corner and felt a jolt that literally threw her to the floor.

Rubbing her sore backside, Hallie thought it safe to try and stand when a callused hand reached down to help her to her feet. Startled, she looked up into worried blue eyes.  Robin egg blue that sent shivers down her spine.  She remembered those eyes.  They belonged to a set of memories she'd rather not think about these days.

"Hey, are you okay? I didn't see you."

Hallie opened her mouth, then tightly pressed her lips together as she jerked her arm from that callused hand.

"I don't need your help!"

Those blue eyes looked startled as recognition dawned on him and the hand quickly pulled back as if touching fire.

"Hallie? What are you doing back here?"

Slowly getting to her feet, Hallie took a moment to straighten her clothes as she avoided looking into those blue eyes she knew so well.  She needed a moment to gather her thoughts. A moment to remind herself to breathe and not let those blue eyes mesmerize her again.

"My aunt died and left me her place." Oh why did she let that slip out?

"Aunt Sally is gone? I hadn't heard. When did it happen?"

Hallie closed her eyes for a moment. Tears wouldn't help her now.  The cold metal under her fingertips felt a bit like her heart as she pushed the cart away from the produce aisle. She just wanted to go home and forget those blue eyes. But before she could stop herself, she said the one thing she knew would hurt him.

"She died not long after you left me standing at the alter."

***Okay, it's your turn!  What happens next?  Does Hallie leave Aisle One all by herself? Do those blue eyes go after her?  Put your creative cap on and add a sentence or add a paragraph.  Continue my story or start one of your own.  Join the fun and see where this picture prompt takes us!***


  1. Woah....great beginning! Do you ever finish these yourself? You come up with some really, really good story ideas. If I ever need a good one, I'm gonna search your site for inspiration. LOL

    1. Hi Christine! I've been thinking lately that I could turn some of these into short stories but I'm not sure who would be interested in them. Probably some magazines but wouldn't know where to I'm honored to think you would visit my blog for inspiration...;~)

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

  2. Great idea! I love the beginning! :D

    1. Hi Erik! I'm glad you liked it...

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

  3. I can't believe I posted a piece for this and it disappeared because I was not logged on properly... *sigh.* Here is what I vaguely remember

    Oh yes! That hurt. She could see the colour drain from his face as his eyes lowered. How could he? He had broken more than just her heart that day. A day that was suppose to be the most beautiful day of her life, a day she had dreamed of since she was a small child. How could he, indeed! A coward, running, leaving her standing there, disappearing without a word. She knew if she stood there any longer the bitterness would spill out in a rush of words, she may later regret. Turning away so as not to look into those eyes she moved the cart away.

    "Wait!" he grabbed the side of the cart. Stopping her.

    This is a great start to a story, even though I am not sure where to take it from
    I hope you do turn some of these into short stories, Donna! Love these Friday posts.

    1. Hi Diane! It's so good to hear from you and what a nice addition to this story! I've been thinking about looking at completely some of these but need to figure out what type of magazines or anthology I would submit it to...;~)

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!