Sunday, July 1, 2012

Enabler or Encourager?




Sometimes people think they are watching out for your best interests, but what they really are doing is just holding you back.  If I am struggling with an exercise program, I don't need someone telling me it's okay to skip a day...I need someone to kick my butt into gear.  If I am dealing with doubts about whether I should keep writing or not, I don't need someone saying I really didn't have a chance of becoming a published author anyway so I might as well give up...I need someone reminding me why I started writing in the first place.

Enablers like to hold back, hold down, and hold off.  They hold back when they place obstacles in the way of someone else's vision.  They hold down when they shower words of doubt on an already beaten spirit. And sometimes they hold off honest praise for the effort made because they wish it were themselves pursuing that dream.




Encouragers, on the other hand, hold up, hold out, and hold on.  They hold up someone who might be having a bad day and remind them of prior accomplishments.  They hold out a helping hand, offer words of support, and guidance to keep someone on the right track.  And they hold on to the dream as well so they may be there at the finish line to join in the celebration.

When I began to fully focus on my writing career a year ago, I decided not only to surround myself with Encouragers who would fill my world with positive energy, but to be an Encourager myself with this blog so others may be held up in their time of need.  With that kind of attitude, there is only one direction for all of us to go...





14 comments:

  1. I'm scared of heights :/

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    1. So "hold on" to someone's hand and bring them along on the journey...just make sure they're an Encourager...;-)

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  2. What would we do without encouragers? You are a great one, BTW. don't forget the importance of being your own encourager!

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    1. Hi Genevieve! Thank you for your kind words. My whole life I have tried to be one of the Encouragers...hopefully others have also felt like I've succeeded when they were in need...

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  3. What a wonderful post, Donna! Absolutely right about surrounding yourself with people who'll give you that push! But it's also true that you can encourage others only so much--and then they must either get with the program...or not.

    Good to see you definitely getting with the program!

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    1. Hi Cathy and welcome to my blog! Thank you for your kind words and I agree that Encouragers can only do so much...but even a little help is better than a bucket full of negativity from an Enabler...;~)

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  4. I would want sincere encouragement. If you don't like what I've written, I wouldn't want you to say you do. Would that make you an enabler?

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    1. Hi Janet! You KNOW how much I value honesty above all, so in my opinion, yes, it would make me an Enabler if I told you that your writing was lovely when I KNEW it needed a lot of work. There are many ways to say the same thing and I can give constructive comments without ripping apart someone's spirit in the process...

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  5. Great post, Ms. Encourager! I think the people who hold us back all too often become DIS-ablers. Does that make Encouragers "Ablers"? Works for me. Encouraging a person to do their best, to strive for improvement... YES, we are ABLE!

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    1. Ahhhh, Beth, I LOVE your comment! I agree with the "dis-ablers" definition as well as the "ablers" term. I think, however, that sometimes new writers are so eager to hear a kind, encouraging word about their writing that they might not see a subtle Enabler until it's too late and a certain amount of damager is done...

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  6. Terrific post. Enablers are the worse form of negativity. As for Encouragers, we all need a cheerleader on our side!

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    1. Hi Donna and welcome to my blog! I am honored that you are now following my blog and thank you for your kind words. The number of Encouragers I have found in the wonderful writing community far outway the occasional Enabler I have come across. Now if I could just learn to do a backflip and shake some pom poms...;~)

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  7. Wonderful post Donna and you are a wonderful Encourager.....

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    1. Hi Diane! Thank you for your kind words...I try...;0)

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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