Saturday, June 9, 2012

My Mother's Gifts




My mother, Ferol Emma Ownby Lavergne, would have been 88 years old today.  She was born and raised in the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas during a time when the men worked hard to provide for their families and the women worked even harder just to survive a sometimes harsh world.




She was one of nine siblings who scattered to the four winds once they grew up.  There was the aunt who moved to Washington State not far from Mt Saint Helen.  Mother visited in 1980 after the volcano erupted and brought me back a souvenir bag of ashes.




Then there was the uncle who moved to Oklahoma to run a country store not far from the Cherokee Nation Indian Reservation.  Mother would take me there every summer and it was there that I learned that I was part Native American.


But it was the other gifts my mother gave me which I cherish more than any of the material things she gave me over the years.  Gifts like commitment, perseverance and imagination... 


For reasons unknown to me, my mother married my father on a whim.  She didn't love him and I'm pretty sure he didn't love her.  It was a broken hearted rebound story with a relationship that endured almost 30 years of ups and downs. My mother spent the rest of her life devoted to her family.  Watching her strength to endure at times what needed to be endured gave me a gift that I have had to call on many times during my own lifetime.


We moved constantly when I was growing up.  Staying one step ahead of poverty caused us to change homes over the years, but the one constant I could always depend on was my mother's vegetable garden.  While I hated working in the garden during the heat of a muggy Louisiana summer, I understood the necessity of such a thing for our family's very survival.  Creating a garden at some of the places we lived wasn't always easy but my mother never gave up.  Working beside her day after day as she struggled to put food on the table taught me perseverance.  And it was that gift I used to survive a serious medical condition three years ago which could have crippled me for life if I would have let it.



But the greatest gift my mother ever gave me was a love of reading.  She was a Zane Grey fanatic.  I don't know whether those books reminded her of growing up on a farm during an untamed time in American history or if she just wanted to be taken away from the dullness of her every day life by escaping into a good book.  Either way, she encouraged me to read at a very young age and I discovered books when I was four years old.  My sister and I would walk the mile round trip to the local library and load up with as many books as we could carry.  To me, books were treasures to dive into and to this day I surround myself with books of every type.  My mother's love of reading fed my own imagination and is probably the reason I am a writer today.

For all the gifts my mother gave me as I was growing up,  I just want to say thanks.  I'm sure she wondered if her children would grow up strong and not be tied down to the life she was forced to live.  No worries...I'm doing just fine.

Happy 88th birthday, Mom, wherever you may be and hopefully you are still enjoying a good book...










17 comments:

  1. What a lovely, lovely tribute! She sounds like an amazing woman.

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    1. Thank you, Susanna, for your kind words. My mother had a hellish life and I didn't really appreciate what she dealt with until it was too late...

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  2. Touching and and a spooky reminder it is the anniversary of my mothers' death next friday. I had forgotten but would have remembered on the day - I always do. Thank you because this post has told me it is about time I paid her tribute.

    She found it difficult with fathers' periods of absence (particularly during the Falklands conflict) and I should have been more supportive instead of being wrapped up in my own problems.

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    1. Hi JP...it sound like we BOTH could have handled some things differently but we both need to remember that we were children without the maturity to access the situation from all angles. I'm sorry about the loss of your mother. My father mainly worked as an offshore cook on the oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico and would leave my mother alone for weeks...sometimes months at a time with 4 small children to raise and very little money. She had to be very resourceful and creative to keep us together and relatively okay. Sometimes people tell me I should write a story about my life...I don't know...maybe some tales are better left untold...

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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    2. 'maybe some tales are better left untold' - Now you tell me :P

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    3. No, JP, your tales need to be told. Donna has said in the past that sometimes you have to live it to believe it. You write what you believe and beautifully so.

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  3. This is a beautiful tribute to an amazing woman!
    I can identify with the perseverance aspect...
    My mother, a 83 year old resilient woman, is the eldest of 14 children and has already buried half her siblings (only about 6 of them left).
    She has given me the priceless gifts of hard work, strength and perseverance, amongst other things...
    I may be down and out from time to time, but I will ALWAYS get up, dust myself off and move on... nothing will hold me down for long!

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    1. Hi Michelle! Thank you for your kind words. I listed some of the character traits I learned from my mother. When I add those to my EXTREME positive attitude (don't know where THAT came from because neither my mother nor my father were actually positive minded people...lol), you could probably call me Tigger for all the bouncing back I do sometimes...;0)

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  4. What a lovely tribute to your mother. She gave you some wonderful Donna!

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    1. oops... that was meant to read... ".. some wonderful gifts, Donna!" lol

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    2. Thanks, Diane. She also gave me a profound love for nature and music...although she was a complete, diehard Country and Western music lover, while I appreciate ALL types of music from the Roaring 20's through today's Top 40. She also did a lot of paint by numbers, puzzles and crossword puzzles (loves that my sister inherited) while I do other "crafty" things...;0)

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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    3. You were right the first time, patientdreamer..Mother DID give me a wonderful Donna.

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    4. Lol, Janet...old age must be catching up to you if you have forgotten being bugged by your little sister and being forced to play with dolls LONG after you had outgrown such silliness...;0)

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  5. Thanks for remembering your mother in such a wonderful tribute. I need to think of ways my mom gifted me too. I have her love of writing and reading. And her stubborness. I'll think about it awhile. LOL.

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    1. Hi Clar! My post today is probably a subconscious way of acknowledging my mother's great traits while forgiving the other things that happened between us. I never realized until it was too late so much of what she must have gone through and by the time she finally thought about making a run for her own freedom, her spirit was broken and she died before she could break free from the life that killed her...

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  6. Perseverance is an admirable trait...you can be thankful your Mom passed it on to you, Donna!

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    1. Hi Jarm! I have accomplished many things in my lie due to my mother's perseverance...;0)

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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