Sunday, March 18, 2012

Dropping The Ball



Sometimes dropping the ball is not a bad thing.  This little fellow just loves it when someone fumbles and drops the ball.  You would never see him give you a disappointed look when you overlooked something.




Then there are times when dropping the ball can mean the difference between a championship ring and a silent ride home.  I realized last night that I was the one that had dropped the ball and I feel horrible.  Friday, March 16th, was National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence.  I told my new friend, Shari Lawsen,  that I would be honored to help get the word out and talk about it on my blog this past Friday.

That's when I dropped it.  It doesn't matter that I was having car trouble or I was busy at the school or any other reason.  My word is my bond and I made an honest mistake by overlooking the promise I had made.  Then I realized that while I might have missed the day, I haven't missed the opportunity to shine the light on what unfortunately is becoming almost a national epidemic here in the states.




According to the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center and Health Resources and Services Administration, nearly 30% or 5.7 million children in the US are involved in bullying either as victims or perpetrators. Unfortunately, my own son was one of those statistics.

When he was in Kindergarten, he was bullied by his own teacher because she didn't like boys in general.    I filed several complaints with the school system but was told that since nothing was on "tape", it was my word against hers. I was able to place my son with another teacher and the issue was finally resolved.  When he was in fourth grade he was thrown head first into a large dumpster simply because a bully wanted his second-hand tennis shoes...a baffling reason to me because they weren't even a brand name.

Bullying comes in all forms from verbal to cyber to physical and emotional.  It take a toll on a child's self esteem and can crush a spirit faster than anything else I've ever seen.  Parents who ignore it because they think it's just a phase, school administrators who dismiss a parental concern because they think the parent is simply enabling their child, or a society which condones this type of behavior when they remain silent is adding to the problem and in some ways are just as guilty of violence as the bully themselves.

My solution?  Let's go back to the day when parents were responsible for teaching their children right from wrong and being held accountable if their children did harm to others.  Provide support for the school systems so that they feel more empowered to deal with this growing problem, but also make them accountable for doing everything within their power to protect the children under their care.  Lastly, and probably the easiest thing to do, is to get the word out that bullying is no longer an acceptable part of growing up.

Just stop the bull...






18 comments:

  1. Great post Donna. And you're right, you didn't drop the ball. You just fumbled it for a little while but recovered nicely :)

    I've never been bullied, I've actually never witnessed someone being bullied. I'd like to think that if I do I'll stand up for the one being bullied and put the bully in their place. We'll see.

    I also don't have kids yet, but when I do I will make sure I do all you've listed above. Teach them right from wrong and help the school out where I can.

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  2. I too, was bullied in school but for me it was verbal attacks...they probably didn't see it as worth the effort for things to become physical. I've seen the damage bullying can do and our TaeKwonDo school mentors and deals with the self-defense side of this issue every day. Each individual can make a difference in some child's like by just stopping the bull...

    Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  3. I was never bullied at school. My brother was the one who bullied me at home. I recently found out he had been bullied when he was in school. He was passing it along. You are right that it has to "start stopping" at home.

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    1. I think the hardest thing for me, Janet, was seeing my son bullied by someone he was supposed to trust...his teacher...and the apathy within the office, by the principal and others. One parent, who's own son had been bullied the previous year by the same teacher, told me, "Oh, he just got use to it over the course of the school year." Really? The parents knew about it and just expected their child to DEAL with it. How sad an example of what some parents are willing to allow their child to suffer through...

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  4. Excellent post, Donna. I was bullied, verbally, in my early adolescence, but it was minor compared to what a lot of kids face these days.

    It MUST stop.

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    1. I was verbally bullied during my high school years, but today's bullies are so much more aggressive and devious than what I ever had to deal with...and children are taking their own lives rather than suffer the torture...

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  5. I think your proposed solutions are sensible, and achieveable.

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    1. Well thank you, D.J.! I am an extreme optimist by nature, but unfortunately I don't think there are enough people out there who care enough to make those kinds of changes. I really wish I could be proven wrong!

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  6. It all comes down to parenting. Lots of things do.....

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    1. I completely agree, Genevieve. If all parents did THEIR job then I wouldn't HAVE a job but then it would leave me more time to write...lol

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  7. Amen, Donna...parents need to be held responsible for their children. Bringing them up to respect life is paramount!

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    1. I agree with you, Jarm...it's the key component of my school...respect for self and others as well as courtesy and responsibility...

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  8. Donna
    I don't know you "in person" but I know that your word is your bond.
    'nough said.

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    1. That means more to me, Mona, than you will ever know. Thank you...

      I'm glad you stopped by and come back any time!

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  9. Great post Donna. Bullying is such a problem. My son was also bullied - kids in school repeatedly flushed his belongings down the toilet. This was in a small private school, mind you. When I went to the teacher and told her what was going on it did stop, but it should never have started in the first place. You're right - an end of bullying has to start at home. My husband is a teacher and says it's unbelievable how entitled kids have become, what negotiators even by kindergarten, who feel without doubt that they can have/get/do what they want because the adults in their lives have never given them boundaries.

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  10. I am so sorry, Susanna, to hear of your son being bullied. You must know then, that moment when your heart drops as you see your child's self-esteem take a beating and you stand there wishing it was within your power to take the hurt away? I'm glad you had a teacher that listened to you. And your husband is right...I see it at my school all the time...children who have no concept of respect (for themselves or others) and who are full of self-entitlement. It scares me to think of their future...

    Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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  11. This hasn't affected our family, so I guess we are among the lucky ones.

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    1. Yes, Stephen, your family is extremely luck to have avoided the bully issue. May the rest of your children's school years be just as lucky.

      Thanks for stopping by and come back any time!

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